Underneath others

Saw him today below Central Library and was shocked to the core of my being. I almost hyperventilated. Not seeing him is easier to deal with than suddenly seeing him and truthfully, I had to prevent myself from launching at him or something. =D Was in a horrible mood to begin with and seeing him didn't make it better. If anything, I felt much worse. Didn't know what I was doing either, later on SMSing him to ask if we could take the same bus home. Well, of course he'd reject it. If it were me, I'd probably say no too. He did it in the most indirect way he could think of I suppose, which is nice of him in a way. If we meet on the bus. Haha, we don't ever meet on the bus. Never have, probably never will either. Yar, I get what he's saying.

Ok, I know why I asked him if we could take the same bus. 2 reasons. The 2nd one is that I needed to talk to somebody.

3 packets of DARS chocolate and I'm halfway through my first one. One bottle of drink from 7-eleven.

I know my friends say to just forget it, forget him. I can't forget, don't you understand? I could tell you why, but I won't. Telling won't make a difference. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting.

I'm in school and I'm not in the mood to study anymore. I'm going to leave now, take the bus home. God, I need the alcohol, the cigarettes and the music.

And a shoulder to lean on for a while, let me cry for a while, just to get it off my chest before I return to the mess I've created for myself. But no, I'm to take the bus home myself. I'm lucky it's in the afternoon and the ride is an hour plus long.