Vacuum.

Why is it that everytime I fall I'm acutely aware that I'm doing it all wrong, yet I still keep falling. I shouldn't be falling.
I was walking back to arts from science for lunch and all the time I had this vacuum inside me. I'm aware of what would fill that vacuum, make me feel instantly better. I'm also aware that everytime this emptiness comes back, it will never be filled. I just have to wait for it to close back by itself for some time before the next opening. Knowing that it shouldn't be this way doesn't make the vacuum go away. Then suddenly I yearn for the pounding of the beats to drive away my worries, fears and unhappiness. I miss him so much.