Looking at yourself

It is easy to right click on a nick on MSN and then click Block. How do one block memories about something?

We've all read some self-help material about How to improve your lives and the such. It doesn't even have to be from books, it can be from friends or those around you. One thing I remember very clearly is to Always love yourself because nobody will love ourselves more than us. It didn't seem much of a problem for me. Love myself. Heck, it's easy! I thought.

Last night I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the person reflected. What was outside didn't seem like what I was inside at that time. I couldn't explain. At that moment I hated myself. Hated every blemish on my skin, hated what was inside me, hated my acting... I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror or look into my own eyes. I couldn't wait to get away.

This morning there was nothing wrong with looking at myself in the mirror. This afternoon I looked again and commanded myself to hate that face. Something welled up inside me. Now I can't imagine why would I want to hate myself.

Perhaps I'm thinking too much, yes?