Chat with JY

I met up with JY at 8.15pm just now. That is today. I mean yesterday.. Or is it today... Anyway we were chatting quite happily about anything and everything.

Really, NTU's going to start school next week (for her) and she still doesn't have a clue about anything! Then again, everything will be explained at the orientation on Monday, so she needn't have worried, actually. In her own words, "everything will fall into place". I don't blame her for not knowing anything or for being anxious. I didn't know anything either until I heard stuff from my cousins, who also happen to be my seniors. So now I'm her cousin (as always) and also her senior (in a neighbouring university). She actually knows quite a lot of things already, given that school hasn't started, such as knowing that orientation is on monday (although she didn't know the attire) and where to find her timetable online. We were puzzled over what she was searching online this whole time when she didn't find out that she has an NTU email account, or that there is a student portal named "Adventure".

We talked about transport fee hikes, flexibility of education system and somehow ended up talking about aliens (or not) and different dimensions (where time, space and something-else don't exist. What is that something-else? I can't remember. Do any of you?)

JY said that she feels that I have changed. Is it? How? I asked. You are more... She can't find the word for it. Kai fang (open-minded)? To sexual things..? I asked. Yes.. Perhaps more.. liberal, she said. I nodded and replied, Somehow, last semester opened my eyes. She said that she is afraid that she will change for the worse, seeing how I am now. You think I will become bad? She asked. I stared at her and shook my head violently. No! You are one of those who will sit there and say "No" and refuse to move if you don't feel like it. We laughed. Is it stubborness? Is it good or bad? She asked. I considered for a bit. It's in a good way, I replied. I know that she's good inside and she'll remain so.
When you go to university, be careful. I warned her. Why leh? She was curious. Be careful of the guys. Because usually they'll only want your virginity, I replied. Please take note that I'm not generalising all the guys. I'm so plain! She says. I dress plainly, I don't put makeup, I wear t-shirt and jeans! I even wear sport shoes! She insisted. I laughed. Me too! I would go to school, look at people who are well-dressed and wonder why. I'd think, "Come here to study what, what for wear so nice? Bai sui (to be put on display) meh?" I wanted to tell her that when I'm back in school this semester, I would have changed again. I would dress differently and it's only the beginning. It's been only a year in university and I've changed too much. But I forgot about it.

I told her I'm tempted. Don't. You won't be able to live with a guilty conscience. I considered what she said. You'll regret it for life. You'll know that you've let your parents down. I realized that she's right, I'll never live with it, but I tell her anyway, But I feel that it's going to happen. You know when sometimes you can sense something is going to happen. I know. It's inside of me waiting to come out. I want it. I need it. She looked at me and the expression on her face says it all. She doesn't know what to say or do. Why are you giving me that look? I laughed. I'm scared for you, She told me. It's nice to know that my cousin cares.

My grammer suck.