But me

Me: If I say that I've been with another guy, will you be jealous?
Him: Neutral
Him: You go ahead with another guy lah
Him: Really

I don't want to be with another guy besides him. I think I'm stupid. Sometimes the simplest wishes are the most difficult to fulfill. Told myself countless times that it's going to be alright, that there are other guys out there.

But after him, I'm damn scared. I really don't dare to like another person seriously and I can't get him out of my mind.

I don't know what I'm doing, confessing to him again just after a nice lunch and chat. *shrug* Pathetic. Told you I'm easy to break, easy to hurt and easy to play around with. My friend says I shouldn't be doing this. Sorry, I can't control. I like him I like him I like him I still like him a lot a lot. My cousin says he's not worth it. I don't care. I still like him and I only want him. My friend says there will be many others out there. I don't know if any one of them is for me. Maybe there won't be one for me. Because only he appreciated what he sees in me. Nobody has ever done that before. I'm ordinary, more than ordinary, very ordinary, more than very ordinary, but he made me feel very special. Then I realize that yes, he does deserve somebody else better than me. Anybody but me.

But me.

I don't like the internet.