Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I hate myself. Hate myself for wanting to contact him, for not being able to control myself, for being impatient, for being the selfish brat that I am, for flaring up so easily....

I hate myself for still liking him. I hate myself for destroying my own life because of that. It's only the damn beginning of Day 14! Only 2 weeks! Feel like I'm dying. Is it because I haven't let go? Why do I count? What am I counting down to? To the day that we can finally talk as friends. I want at least that, but it's so difficult... difficult not to carry hope. Sometimes I wonder if it's a case of wrong timing, if time will tame me and change him. Maybe if we met later in the future it would be better.

*groan* What am I thinking?!

Steph

P.S YES! I want to talk to him, dammit!