Bits and pieces

Took half-day off from work today because I was tired. Haven't been sleeping well and last night/this morning at about 4am my left leg started aching. Irritating. Plus cried some last night, so quite exhausted this morning. Kind of wish that he would ask how my leg is, but I know I shouldn't. Sad that the amount of concern just dropped so drastically. That small little flame of hope though. I've realized I should hope. It makes me happy, although the fall hurts me.

Anyway I took half day off and then smsed my mum to tell her that. What she replied was so touching that the tears that wouldn't flow naturally the whole of last night started to flow in that moment.

"You ok or not. Now out of love. Never mind, mummy love will never walk out of (on) you."

Even as I type this, I want to cry. Now I know that whatever happens, my family will always be there for me.

And yes, I told her about it. All of you stop rolling your eyes already.

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It's quite funny. I was walking home from the MRT today when at the void deck of this block of flats, this pigeon walked past in front of me. It was on the verge of flying and yet it didn't fly. It walked first in one direction which is nearer to get off my path and then when I slowed my steps to let it pass, it turned to walk in the other direction which is directly across my path and then I think it turned back and forth again, as if unable to decide which way to walk or whether it should fly. I was very amused so I waved my hand to my left, which was where it was facing and heading towards and shooed it slightly away, something like a shepherd and his sheep, urging the pigeon to walk faster in that direction.
Was reminded of me then. A bit blur like the pigeon. Ok, so VERY blur.

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I'm really irritated by my pimples. It's so bad that I don't even dare to go cut my hair. Scared of what the auntie will say or how I'll look in their eyes. Kind of wish I could wear a paper bag over my head. Wait, got paper bag then cannot cut hair hor. Shucks.
Just as well that he doesn't want to see me now. He'd only see a person with a paper bag over her head and two holes for eyes. Or he'll be so freaked out that my worn out sandals are probably more interesting than my face. Hehz.

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After what MZ said about me not giving him enough time from the last time that he said he is stressed out, I feel better. Ironically I feel better when I put some blame on myself. Ok. I.Must.Control.